Very few people have known this is something I’ve been considering, and I’m sure this will take many of you by surprise. I’ll almost certainly write more about it in the future, but in the meanwhile… June 22, 2015
Hello! In the past this may have been a blog post, but I’m giving up the idea of even pretending I have a regular blog. However, I wanted to make this page to answer some questions I imagine I’ll be getting. (The front part is mostly for my professional friends and colleagues; the latter part is more personal.)
So, my big news, if you haven’t heard: I’ve been accepted to enter the Jesuits. The ultimate intent is to become a priest, but for now, I’m just focused on entering the novitiate.
Very few people have known this is something I’ve been considering, and I’m sure this will take many of you by surprise. I’ll almost certainly write more about it in the future, but in the meanwhile…
Heh. I guess I’ve played it pretty low key before now. But yup! I’ve had periods where I was wavering, and was DEFINITELY away from the Church for a while, but my belief never went away.
Yes, that’s one of the prerequisites for the Jesuits.
Not even a little. I have a profound love and respect for science. For a time, I thought I was going to be a molecular biologist.
(Also, Catholics aren’t scriptural literalists! Whew!)
Probably not. On most matters, I’m about as left-leaning as they come. I’m a feminist and pacifist. I’m quite critical of late-stage capitalism. I support welfare programs and universal health care. The systems designer in me loves the idea of an unconditional basic income. I oppose the war on drugs, the death penalty, and lifelong imprisonment. While there are places in the world where Christians are oppressed for their beliefs, I don’t think the United States is one of them.
By the way, did you know that the term “social justice” was actually coined by a Jesuit? It’s true! AND, the Jesuits, in their founding documents, are referred to as “soldiers of God,” so in a way, I am literally becoming a Social Justice Warrior. :)
Completely and unapologetically.
I hope so! I’d very much like that. I will need friendship more than ever in the future.
I’m not in a position to tell someone who is fulfilled and happy with their worldview that they’re wrong. That said, if you have a genuine interest in hearing about my faith journey or exploring your own, I’m happy to share with you or listen to your thoughts.
They’re pretty rad. You can think of them as kind of the nerdy/progressive wing of the Church. The full name of the group is the Society of Jesus, which made people a little uncomfortable, even when it was founded in the Renaissance. The nickname “Jesuit” was actually a 16th Century equivalent of “Jesus-freak” before the Society came to reclaim it.
They attempt to put Christ’s teachings into action as much as possible. They’re not withdrawn and cloistered like you might think of monks; they are out there living and helping people.
There are great intellectual, educational, and humanitarian traditions within the Jesuits, and I’m excited to explore the fullness of what they all represent. They also have significant cultural and scientific pursuits – Jesuits “find God in all things,” from the natural world to astrophysics to cuisine to pop music.
Ignatian Spirituality (named for the order’s founder, Saint Ignatius of Loyola) is all at once pragmatic, ordered, thoughtful, and imaginative. It’s a great toolbox for discernment, decision-making, and becoming your best self. I dig it. (You might, too!)
In the United States, most people would be familiar with the Jesuits through their universities and high schools. That was (and remains) a big focus of the work in the US, but is far from the only thing they’re up to.
Correct! For more thoughts on why this is such a big deal and the current status of the Jesuit order, check out this story from Newsweek. (Here I insert my normal admonition to not read the comments, but if you’re interested in some of the more conspiratorial accusations against the order, feel free.)
My entrance day is August 16, 2015. I’m fortunate that the novitiate for the west coast is located in Culver City, so I’ll be in an area I already know well.
Not for a long while; Jesuits have the longest formation process of any Catholic order. It will be at least nine or ten years before I’m ordained, and even longer before I’m fully professed.
Working. Studying. I was drawn to the Jesuits because of their traditions of being active in the world, out on the front lines trying to improve people’s lives. “Contemplatives in action,” they’re called, and so my time will be split between contemplation (studies, prayer, retreats), and action (deployment to various efforts, social work).
For the next two years, I’ll be in the novice community in Culver City, California. After that, I’ll be all over the place. You can get a rundown on the formation process at the California Province website. I’ll spend a few years getting a Master of Philosophy degree (either in New York, Chicago, or St. Louis), a few years in community someplace (could be teaching high school, doing direct aid work with deported migrants in Mexico, or anything in between), more studying for a Master of Divinity degree (likely in the Bay Area or Boston, unless I go abroad), and then… who knows?
Believe me, the Jesuits don’t let you do this suddenly. Priesthood is something that’s crossed my mind a few times over my life, but usually the desire evaporated after a week or so. More recently it took hold and wouldn’t go away, in large part because I happened to be learning more about the Jesuits at the time. I first reached out them last year, and since then have had months of interviews, discussions, spiritual direction, and prayer. I’ve written a lengthy spiritual autobiography, been physically and psychologically evaluated, and done a five-day silent discernment retreat.
It’s not an easy choice, for sure. But rest assured, the decision-making process was thorough.
There are a lot of reasons that I recently decided to move away from full-time employment into short-term consulting gigs. Regardless of my ultimate vocation, I had hit a point where I wanted flexibility more than stability. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go independent, try to make my own games, leave the industry entirely, or just keep on consulting full-time like a few friends have done.
It has, though, been very beneficial to be able to make this decision without having a long-term work obligation in the mix.
I only heard about my acceptance right before the trip, and it was planned long before. The potential life change was definitely part of the “let’s see the world” impetus, but hardly the only one.
Eh.
First off, I may not actually be leaving. Not entirely, anyway. I still love games, love making them, and doubt I’ll ever stop. It just won’t be my livelihood anymore. However, there are a number of Jesuits in creative pursuits – authors, fine artists, screenwriters, etc. So far as I know, there hasn’t yet been a Jesuit game developer, but stay tuned.
Secondly, my interest in the industry had been waning for a bit. If you asked me what I wanted to do when I was a kid, I was doing exactly that. But, as I climbed the AAA ladder, the closer I got to the top of it, the more I realized that the top wasn’t a place I wanted to be – what a AAA game director does all day is not what I wanted to do all day. I don’t know if I had the chops or charisma to go independent. Then Gamergate hit and it really made me question whether this was what I wanted to do with my life.
I prefer to spend my energies in ways that I think can more directly help people, and the games industry will not (and should not) mourn the loss of one more upper-class heterosexual white man aged 18–35.
I’ve got a scheme cooking to give away most of the things I have that people might want. Again, stay tuned.
I’m going to have to find a new home for her. :( If you are interested in adopting a very skittish but very sweet four-year-old indoor cat, please get in touch. She’s spayed, has all her shots, and is in total good health. She is a weirdo, but I love her. Maybe you will, too.
Yeah, I’m working on that.
A lot of things. Realizing I was sort of done with games, at least as a career. Pope Francis being rad. Hearing Michael Fish speak. Through Michael Fish, discovering Thomas Merton. Reading a ton of James Martin’s stuff. One of my dearest and oldest friends entering the clergy. (He’s Anglican, but nobody’s perfect.) Having a sense that I wanted to give my love to the whole world, and use my own position, good fortune, and abilities to help people who don’t have those things.
Most importantly, because now is when I heard the call.
I definitely don’t regret not taking this step ten years ago. But I think in another ten years I might regret not taking this step now.
I’ll still have email, Facebook, and Twitter, but won’t have a computer or phone of my own, so will certainly be less active and responsive than I am right now. In fact, from entrance day until December of this year, I’ll probably be in very little contact, so please be understanding if I vanish for a time.
If you’re interested, I’ll also send out an occasional newsletter about what I’m up to. You can subscribe by clicking that link.
If you’re a friend or family member, you know how to get in touch. I would love to hear from you, though I hope you’ll be understanding if I’m slow to respond. There’s a lot to take care of at the moment.
If you’re anyone else, feel free to reach out on my public-facing internet presence, and I’ll try to respond as best I can.
If you just want to throw Richard Dawkins quotes or conspiracy theories about the Jesuits at me, please don’t.